Seven months ago, Santa Ynez native Sean Misner was killed in Arizona, along with 18 other firefighters.
"A thought of Sean will come to my mind and I will have to stop what I'm doing. It will take my breath away," says Sean's mother, Tammy Misner.
It's pain Tammy Misner says will never go away.
"It's hard and it's always going to be hard," she says.
Tammy remembers the awful call she got from her brother, who let her know her son Sean was one of the 19 Granite Mountain Hotshots who died battling a fast-moving wildfire in Arizona.
"Tammy, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do and that was it. That was all I could hear," remembers Tammy.
The 26-year-old married his wife Amanda, who at the time was pregnant with their son. Now named after his dad, Sean Jackson is 5 months old.
"He cant replace Sean, but he gives so much joy. He's a part of Sean," says Tammy.
The proud mother says everyday a piece of Sean is with her. "We had him cremated," she says as she holds up her star necklace, "so I carry a little bit of him everyday, everywhere I go."
Sean's bravery inspired his former Santa Ynez High School football coach, to make a difference, by founding the American Hotshot Extreme Run.
"We are giving 100% of the profit to fallen firefighters," says Founder Dave Henrey, American Hotshot Extreme Run.
Tammy and Dave are working to spread the word about the cause. Tammy says it's helping her cope with the loss of her son, but she still misses him everyday.
"His smile and his hugs. He was a hugger," says Tammy.
The American Hotshots 10-mile Extreme Run is a two-day event on Saturday and Sunday, May 17 and 18. For more information on the run and to register: www.hotshotextreme.com