Kordell Crawford believes that sex changes the dynamics of a relationship.
"Women are much more emotional than men and sex is a very personal, passionate, affectionate act that brings out many different emotions on many different levels," Crawford said. "To a man sex is just that -- sex. To a woman, sex is so much more that men can't rationalize the impact it has on (women)."
When Crawford heard about a sex detoxification program that may help him find a lasting relationship, his curiosity was piqued.
Ian Kerner, the author of "Sex Detox," says in his book that abstaining from sex for 30 days will enhance the experience for couples and help singles put an end to negative behavior in order to focus on other important factors to establish lasting relationships.
Kerner said the book improves "self awareness and sexual confidence" for married people. For singles, it provides an understanding of how they handle themselves when dating.
Crawford said he is not sure why his relationships do not work out. He wanted to try the program to see if it would improve his situation.
"(I'm) not sure if I have a commitment phobia, but I can be very guarded at times," he said. "I'm not really sure where that comes from but I've been told on several occasions that I have a wall up."
Should Singles Detox?
Kerner's detoxification program includes completing daily assignments, learning breathing techniques, journaling and answering numerous questions. While the book is divided into sections for couples and singles, Kerner said people without a partner will benefit from reading the couple's section.
Kerner writes that it is necessary for singles to liberate themselves from negative patterns and find a "healthier way of dating and relating."
"Too often, casual sex is a potent reminder of the relationship we're not having, the intimacy we would like to be having and the fact that we're merely having sex when what we really want is to be in love," Kerner writes.
To understand if you are out of whack, Kerner asks 10 questions.
They include: "Have you ever cancelled plans with a friend because of a last-minute date?" and "When someone you went on a bad date with doesn't call for a second, are you bummed out?"
If the person answers yes to more than half of the questions, he or she may have bad dating karma, Kerner says.
Crawford said he found the questions in the book interesting and thought-provoking.
"I actually brought up a couple of the questions amongst friends for some lively conversation," he said.
Relationships Need Evaluating
Patrice Hamiter does not understand why a couple or singles would be interested in a sex detox.
"I don't see the point in doing it," she said. "If you are in an unhealthy sexual relationship, maybe you need to evaluate the whole relationship."
Hamiter, who admits she is commitment phobic, added that the questions in the book were not thought-provoking to her at all.
"I thought the questions were stupid," she said.
She added that people should also recognize relationships for what they really are, and sometimes a relationship may be just about sex.
Married With Bad Sex
Kerner said sex is important to any good marriage. He said he finds that many couples argue about an unsatisfying sex life more than money or housework.
"Stress can take a major toll on your sex life," he writes. "For men, work-related stress is particularly likely to inhibit desire, while women are often more susceptible to stressors that originate at home."